


Totally meant to happen

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Meant to be [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: (I guess?) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Clan Leader Raphael, Demisexual Raphael, Established Relationship, Flirting, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Panromantic Raphael, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Simon, Vampire Raphael, Vampire Simon, awkward Simon, shirtless raphael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I assume whatever you barged in here for wasn’t important or do you intend to finish the question any time soon? Also, you’re staring,” the older vampire pointed out and his voice had changed to teasing amusement.</p><p>“Uh. I just–I wanted–I had a question,” Simon stammered and the grin tugging at the corners of Raphael’s invitingly soft looking lips did not help to collect his thoughts.</p><p>“I figured as much.”</p><p>“It–I–I forgot.” It was beyond embarrassing that the simple sight of his…<em>boyfriend’s</em>…naked torso made him lose his train of thought in an instant but, seriously, <em>how was Raphael even real?!</em> Simon had known the older vampire wasn’t a scrawny guy like himself but this was one well-toned body if he ever saw one. It was just the right amount of muscles to look almost absurdly sexy and still manage to make the other’s upper body seem soft, perfect to cuddle up to - if that even made any sense. Simon knew his thoughts barely made sense most of the time, but, shit, this view certainly did nothing to help to get his brain to function properly either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Totally meant to happen

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think it's necessary to know "Never meant to happen" to read this story because it's basically just random fluff and Simon being completely smitten by his gorgeous boyfriend.

“Hey, Raphael, have you seen the…?  _Oh._ ” Simon froze and realised maybe he should have knocked on the door first before pushing it open without a second thought. Not that he had walked in on anything really embarrassing but he still felt his cheeks flush (probably only possible because he just fed about ten minutes ago) at the sight of a shirtless clan leader. Of course, the older vampire was unimpressed as usual and completely at ease with the fact of being half-naked in front of Simon.

“Seen  _what_?” Raphael inquired with a slight tilt of his head and eyebrows climbing a tiny bit higher. Always communicating with his damn, ridiculously perfect eyebrows! The fledgeling suppressed a sigh and his gaze darted anywhere but to the head of the clan, whom he was able to call his boyfriend for a few weeks now but somehow this fact made him feel even more awkward in some situations. On one hand, Simon was over the moon and completely happy that the other actually  _loved him back_  and that they were kind of together - at least he thought they were, they didn’t name this change between them yet - but on the other hand he was fucking terrified of messing up. He never had a relationship and the only person he ever loved had been Clary, so he was more used to dealing with one-sided feelings.

“I assume whatever you barged in here for wasn’t important or do you intend to finish the question any time soon? Also, you’re staring,” the older vampire pointed out and his voice had changed to teasing amusement.

“Uh. I just–I wanted–I had a question,” Simon stammered and the grin tugging at the corners of Raphael’s invitingly soft looking lips did not help to collect his thoughts.

“I figured as much.”

“It–I–I forgot.” It was beyond embarrassing that the simple sight of his… _boyfriend’s_ …naked torso made him lose his train of thought in an instant but, seriously,  _how was Raphael even real?!_  Simon had known the older vampire wasn’t a scrawny guy like himself but this was one well-toned body if he ever saw one. It was just the right amount of muscles to look almost absurdly sexy and still manage to make the other’s upper body seem soft, perfect to cuddle up to - if that even made any sense. Simon knew his thoughts barely made sense most of the time, but, shit, this view certainly did nothing to help to get his brain to function properly either.

“I honestly didn’t know vampires can blush,” Raphael commented while casually walking closer. The fledgeling made an involuntary step back and bumped into the door, causing it to fall shut with a soft click.

“I’m not blushing! It’s–I just fed.” The stuttering probably didn’t do a damn thing to convince the clan leader he was not blushing. Raphael’s smirk only emphasised this assumption and Simon gulped, a nervous fluttery feeling spreading through his chest and stomach thanks so the other’s sudden proximity. Even though they didn’t have any body heat, he could still feel the clan leader’s presence.

“I can see that.”

Simon didn’t get a chance to question Raphael’s comment because he suddenly felt the soft press of the older vampire’s thumb to his bottom lip, tracing its shape to the corner of his mouth with a smooth, gentle movement. There was a tiny smudge of blood smeared across his fingertip, when the clan leader pulled back and, without missing a beat, Raphael’s tongue darted out to clean his thumb and Simon couldn’t help but gape at this view. How could someone be allowed to be this provokingly sexy?! This should not be legal…

His thoughts were interrupted when the other’s hand found its way back to his face, cool fingers gently caressing his cheeks this time, and suddenly Raphael stepped even closer, intense dark eyes boring into Simon’s and he was kind of glad not to have a heartbeat because it would certainly throb frantically right now. Especially when he heard the other’s whispered “May I?” followed by a short glance to his lips, emphasising what exactly he was asking.

Simon only managed the barest hint of a nod and he would never get the idea to reject Raphael - especially not when it came to the admittedly way too rare kisses. The fledgeling would love to kiss more often or to just spend the whole night kissing until the sun rose and called an end to their part of the day. But he was too awkward to say it out loud and maybe the older vampire would think of it as stupid or childish? Simon wouldn't want to risk for the other to call this, whatever it was between them, off and decide the younger vampire to not be a suitable partner.

"Stop thinking, Simon. And don't dare answer this with  _make me_  or I'm going to kick your ass!" Raphael sighed against his lover's invitingly soft lips before simply capturing them in a sweet, innocent kiss. He knew the fledgeling always tended to over think everything and it had only gotten worse after things changed between them but this was always a pretty successful way to interrupt the younger's almost visible jumble of thoughts. Simon tensed for a few seconds, nervous due to the still rather unfamiliar closeness of their new relationship, but soon relaxed against the older vampire and into the gentle connection of their lips.

"I love you." Despite the fact that his lungs no longer needed any air, Simon's words were a breathless whisper against the clan leader's soft lips and he knew he would blush if he still had the ability to. Raphael's dark eyes always seemed to light up at this rare confession and the fledgling would never understand how he could have ever thought the other to be rather emotionless - sure, Raphael was a professional at hiding his true feelings (or the fact that he, indeed, had those) but ever since they got closer Simon felt like he could  _read_  in the other's eyes. He saw the flicker of annoyance when someone disturbed him working, knew the expression that revealed the elder’s boredom and he especially noticed the fondness usually directed at himself (though Raphael often tried to hide it with a scowl).

"Love you too, baby," the clan leader replied in a soft mumble and Simon automatically beamed at the nickname, loving the fact that his boyfriend secretly tended to be a little sappy and ended up using terms of endearment quite a lot when it was just the two of them. Most of the time, these terms were in Spanish and Simon rarely knew their meaning but the tone of Raphael's voice told him all there was to know about the meaning of whatever word he used.

The intensity of feelings, the rush of love, he felt for the clan leader - especially during such vulnerable moments - still took Simon by surprise, left him illogically breathless and almost a little dizzy with a sudden burst of happiness. Raphael loved him.  _Loved_  him. Loved  _him_ , of all people. It was ridiculous, really.

Simon gazed at his lover from beneath his lashes and let his eyes travelled from the older vampire's fine shaped face downwards to examine the well-toned chest. Despite being a vampire and therefore dead (well,  _undead_ , really), Raphael's skin had a pale honey colour instead of being porcelain white like many of the other clan members and the wide expanse of this skin made Simon want to touch and explore it; with his fingertips and lips alike. And that was what he did, before he even realised lifting his hand, he already felt smooth, cool skin beneath his fingertips and the slight lifting of Raphael's torso when he took an unnecessary breath. It was fascinating that  _he_  was able to make the clan leader react like this, to make him forget for a split second that he didn't need to fill his lungs with fresh air to function. Simon still breathed pretty regularly out of habit but his boyfriend usually didn't, being a vampire for decades he had already gotten rid of this unneeded bodily function.

The fledgeling's fingers slowly travelled across the exposed skin, eyes following the movement of his own hand in awe at the fact that he was allowed to do this. Part of him had expected Raphael to push his hand away but the clan leader just went completely still and Simon could feel the dark eyes resting on him but there was no sign of dislike towards the touch. His fingertips skirted the cool surface of Raphael's chest, moving past the ribs and to the other's flat stomach with finely outlined muscles that tensed ever so slightly as reaction to his touch.

A whisper of his name had Simon tear his eyes away from his own exploring fingers and gaze up at his lover's face, being met with the other's stunning dark orbs filled with wonder and...something that could almost be described as  _bashfulness_. The young vampire had never expected to ever see such an expression on Raphael's face; the clan leader always seemed completely sure of himself and not once had shown any sign of insecurity.

"Was this--is this not okay?" The fledgeling immediately felt like he had screwed up and drew back his hand, not getting very far because the older vampire's fingers wrapped around his wrist and stopped him from pulling back any further. Raphael shook his head, amusement replacing the unusually shy expression from before, and his other hand tentatively came to rest on Simon's hip.

"Don't be ridiculous,  _cariño_. It's more than welcome. I'm just not used to being this close to someone and actually being okay with it," the clan leader admitted with a soft voice and Simon blinked at him in slight confusion, tilted his head to the side in a questioning manner because he wasn't exactly sure how to interpret this. Raphael was what, about 70 now? Surely he meant that it just had been a while since he had been with someone for the last time, right?

Raphael sighed softly at his lover's expression and he knew exactly what was going through Simon's mind right now.

"I have been with a few other people before but not like this because I never liked too much physical contact," Raphael admitted, his fingertips gently pressing against Simon's wrist where his pulse would be palpable if he were still a living being, "or at least not too much skin contact."

"This means...no sex?" Simon's eyed widened at his own question and he had not intended to say this out loud and sound like a horny teenager that was only focused on getting laid. He was about to back paddle and make sure his lover knew that he wasn't just in this for sex when the older vampire huffed out a soft laugh and shook his head in disbelieve.

"Up until I met you the answer would have been a clear  _yes_  but I honestly start to believe it might be different with you. I can't make any promises and it will definitely take a lot more time but I might warm up to the idea of this kind of closeness. For now...this has to be enough." Raphael gently placed the fledgeling’s hand back into his chest, right above his unbeating heart and Simon had the feeling his own would start beating a frantic rhythm any second now, even though it was impossible.

"I don't mind. We can take things slow and won't do anything you're not comfortable with. As long as hugging and kissing are okay, there are no complaints on my part," Simon grinned at his lover and though he did like sex and would love to experience it with his new boyfriend, he couldn't care less about it as long as he was allowed to love and be with Raphael the way it was right now.

"I love you and I want to be with you. I don't care about sex; Okay, maybe I care a little about sex but I have two perfectly healthy hands that can do the job just fine and--"

"Simon.  _Dios mío_ , shut up!"

Simon's answering "Make me~" and the following laughter was muffled by Raphael's lips and the fledgeling couldn't suppress his grin at the feeling of his lover's smile against his own mouth.

The young vampire still had a long way to go in accepting his existence as a creature of the night and he would always miss his family and old life deeply but it was more and more unable to regret being transformed because it brought him this. It brought him Raphael and Simon would never say it out loud, but maybe this was meant to happen – maybe he was supposed to be a vampire and find happiness in this still new, supernatural world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and come visit me on [tumblr](http://mckvch.tumblr.com/) if you want to be flooded with Saphael, Malec and other stuff - and, of course, feel free to leave me a message ♥


End file.
